Lol he Is too funny I tell u

(Family Fued is playing on TV)

Steve Harvey: Name a living creature that has no feet.

Contestant: A centipede??

Nick: Wow she’s dumb!! That’s an easy one.

Me: I know right!! She could of said a snake, a worm, an eel, a fish, a shark, a dolphin…

Nick: A Duck!!

Me: A DUCK!!??

Nick: Oh…wait…nevermind hahahahahaha I’m an ass for that one!!

Me: Nick I’m sorry but if I ever go on Family Feud you will NOT be on my team.

Nick: U know what I’m not even gonna stress the stupid people anymore cuz all they do is try to make drama. Cuz u know even though I have some things going on rite now that’s stressin me out; I have a pretty enlightened life rite now.

Me: That’s great Nick but…you have an enlightened life?? What do you mean by enlightened??

Nick: Yes Nina enlightened!! MEANING…my life rite now is pretty light, like my shoulders have been lightened

Me: Ok so your trying to tell me that you are living a fairly stress free life; right?

Nick: Yes! Exactly!! ENLIGHTENED…

Me: (laughing): ENLIGHTENED…WOW. You do realize that’s not what the word enlightened means right?

Nick: I DON’T CARE NINA IT’S WHAT MY VERSION OF IT MEANS!!!!

Me: Oooooook then.

Nick (on the phone with his gf): 2% milk is better for u than regular milk. U should start getting that…u do know that there’s a certain kind of cow that gives milk that’s lighter and that’s what they use for 2% milk

Me: Ok hold up I’m not trying to get into your convo but are you trying to say that there is such a thing as a 2% milk cow!?

Nick: Yeah! U know how u can tell? Cuz those cows have lighter spots

Me (laughing): Oh my God are you serious right now??

Nick: Yeah u don’t gotta say it even I know imma idiot for that one

Nick (in a sad voice): I feel soooo bad yo

Me: why??

Nick: I don’t know…I just feel bad about something but I don’t know what I should feel bad about…so I’m sitting here thinking like damn I feel BAD but…I don’t know why

Me: (laughing): Yo Nick I love you for that one

Nick: Your gonna post that on your blog aren’t you

Me: Yes…yes I am

Nick (looking at a picture of a pregnant Beyonce): Her stomach looks weird when she sits I think she has that thing

Me: What thing? I don’t see anything wrong

Nick: That disease pregnant woman get sometimes. Surrogates it’s called I think, it’s when ur stomach goes in.

Me (laughing): Surrogates?? Ummm hate to break it to you but that’s not a disease. A surrogate is someone who carries a baby for another woman.

Nick: Oooo yeah…Nevermind I knew that

TV News Anchor: Do you think a quarter of a billion dollars is a lot of money?

Nick (yelling at the TV): HELL YEAH MAN THAT’S A LOT OF MONEY!! THAT’S LIKE 25 HUNDRED MILLION DOLLARS!!!!

Me: Ummm nooooo that’s 250 Million dollars. There’s no such thing as 25 hundred million.

Nick: Yes there is Nina how u gonna tell me!! It’s 25 hundred million dollars I’m not stupid!!

Me: No it’s really 250 million Google it if you don’t believe me

Nick (pauses for a minute): Ooooo he said a quarter of a BILLION!! I though he said MILLION!! my bad

Me: Suuuuurrrre you did Nick

Nick: You guys should go to the store for me and get some snacks

Me: Why can’t u go to the store yourself, stop being so lazy

Nick: I can’t cuz I’m waiting for the Bud Man to come so while I’m waiting u can go to the store for me and we can KILL MAD STONES WIT 1 BIRD!!

Me: Wow…do you listen to yourself when you talk??

Nick: I can’t control what happens in life all I can do is go along for the ride…and that ride is like being on a tricycle…fun at first but then it gets boring, so u try to think of ways to make it more fun like riding with no hands until u hit a pothole and fall off…man down

Me: How many Gigs are left on the PS3?

Nick: It says there’s 1700 Memory Blocks left…how many Memory Blocks r in a Gig??

Me: Memory Blocks? What’s a Memory Block Nick?

Nick: U don’t know what that is?? Wow Nina!! Memory Blocks u know MB??

Me: Ummm I think you mean Mega Bytes Nick